Power struggles are common issue of any relations, no matter how long they last, 2 months or 2 years. And if you don't have power struggles while dating, it doesn't mean that there will be no place for them after wedding. And when they appear, there are only two ways, either your marriage will be destroyed, or both of you become more humble. The second variant is more likable to you, but what should you do to survive power struggles in your marriage?
Power struggles begin when you don't look at your relations through rose-colored glasses any more. Let's call this phase “end of honeymoon”. It can show up in different ways. For instance, you start hating some traits of your spouse, that earlier made you smile or laugh. Or during an argument you find out that your spouse is very stupid and blind, because can't understand, that their opinion is false, while yours is correct.
Power struggles can come in different ways, but the question is, what triggered them? You were happy, and now your marriage seems to be falling apart. There are several causes that could lead to power struggles in your marriage. These can be having a baby, death of a parent, financial crisis, promotion and a milestone birthday.
Power struggles can last for a long time, and every time they will be getting worse and worse. Eventually they will lead to abusive relations. It doesn't mean that there will be physical abuse. Abuse can have different forms, for instance, verbal, emotional and spiritual violence is the most common for marital power struggles. By the way, abusive relations doesn't mean that wife has to face tyranny. Very often husbands are also abused by wives, who think they are allowed to do anything just because they are women.
Is it possible to survive power struggles? Yes, but only in case when both spouses understand that marriage consists of two distinct individuals, who have their own beliefs, thoughts, needs, feelings and values. All of these are equally important, essential and valuable.
So what should you do with power struggles in your marriage? Should you avoid them or embrace? You may choose any way you want, but first of all you have to be honest with yourself and with your partner. A serious conversation about your relations is what you need. Tell your partner about your feelings and how they changed, ask your spouse to do the same. Be honest with each other, avoid blaming and share open communication. Look for a compromise, because without it non of you will be happy.
- 6 Tips for Surviving the First Year of Marriage, Most Difficult Years of Marriage, How to Live With a Narcissistic Spouse, How to Compromise in Marriage