How to Compromise in Marriage

When you compromise, each of you gives up part of their demand. You lose something, but you gain something as well. Compromising won't solve all your problems, but it can help avoid fighting over small things and making unnecessary sacrifices. How to master the art of compromising in marriage?

Never assume anything. Even if you've been married for years and you think you know your spouse really well, you shouldn't make any assumptions. You are not a mind reader, so you can never be absolutely sure what your spouse really wants unless they tell you. Communication is the key to a successful relationship. Both of you need to make their wishes and preferences very clear if you want to reach a compromise.

Listen actively and speak up yourself. To understand what your spouse wants, you need to listen to them. Sometimes we're so focused on our own wishes that we don't hear what other people are trying to say. However, it is a two-way street. You should also make sure that your spouse listens to you. Be honest and open-minded, it will make compromising so much easier.

Meet your spouse halfway. It takes two to tango. When you compromise, both of you need to sacrifice something in order to find a mutually satisfying solution. Don't expect your spouse to do all the work and give up everything, but don't do all the work yourself either.

Consider all your options. Typically, each spouse has several things they are willing to give up, so there are several options to consider. You should carefully weigh the pros and cons of each option so that you make the best decision. (And by the best decision we don't mean the decision which is the best for your personally; it must be the best for you as a couple.)

Be consistent. Once you've reached a compromise, don't revisit the situation and try to re-negotiate the terms, especially if your children are involved. You need to stick with your decision. If things don't work out, one of you probably wasn't completely honest about their wishes.

Don't use compromise as a method of avoidance. Compromise is not always the best option, so don't compromise just to get rid of the problem as soon as possible. Sometimes you'll have to admit your spouse is right. Sometimes you'll have to insist on your opinion because your spouse is clearly wrong. However, whichever strategy you choose, you need to communicate openly and honestly.