The first year of marriage is typically the toughest one. Once the honeymoon euphoria wears off, the newlyweds start figuring out how to function as a family. Surviving the first year of marriage is a challenge, but if you handle this challenge, your relationship will become much stronger. Here are some tips for dealing with ups and downs during your first year of marriage.
Have realistic expectations. Fairy tale couples live happily ever after, but life is not a fairy tale. Your relationship won't automatically become perfect as soon as you get married. You need to talk about each other's expectations to make sure you're on the same page. Discuss important issues such as family budget, holiday schedule, kids, etc. Be ready to compromise because this is what marriage is about.
Communicate. This one seems obvious. Nevertheless, we would like to remind you that communication is essential. Miscommunication and lack of communication belong to the most common causes of marital problems. Don't be afraid to talk to your spouse when something is bothering you. Just make sure you choose the right words in order not to hurt their feelings. Honest and open communication helps prevent a lot of issues.
Spend time with each other. Many newlyweds think that they will naturally start spending more time together. However, spending time in the same apartment or even in the same room doesn't necessarily equal spending time together. What we mean is that you need to spend quality time with your spouse. Make sure you have regular date nights and talk about something other than bills and grocery shopping lists. Keep the romance alive!
Spend time apart. Spending time apart is just as important as spending time together. Everyone needs time and space for themselves every now and then. If you spend every spare moment together, you will start feeling smothered. Although you're a family now, each of you is still a person who deserves some independence. You have the right to meet your friends and pursue your hobbies and interests without your spouse being involved, and they do, too.
Establish a routine. Establishing a routine when it comes to chores and responsibilities will help prevent petty fights over household duties. If you get bored by doing the same chores all the time, you can switch responsibilities every now and then. Having a schedule for household activities can help the first few months of your marriage flow more smoothly. Once you settle into a certain rhythm, things will become easier.
Don't fight for the sake of fighting. Fights are inevitable, sometimes disagreements get out of hand, and all hell breaks loose. However, you should only fight when it helps solve problems. Don't use fights with your spouse as a way to relieve your stress, your husband or wife doesn't deserve to become your whipping boy. You must learn to fight fair and respect each other during arguments. And don't forget to make up once you've solved the problem, make up sex is the best!
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