How to Maintain Your Independence in a Marriage

No secrets. Marriage is built on trust, and a lot of marriage problems are caused by the lack of it. You have every right to spend time with your friends or on your own, but you shouldn't lie to your partner about your whereabouts. Of course we aren't saying that you must give them detailed reports, but your spouse deserves to know where you are and with whom.

Cope with your sense of guilt. A lot of people feel guilty about wanting to spend some time alone. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with needing alone time, everyone needs to recharge every now and then. You don't have to spend every spare minute with your spouse so you shouldn't feel guilty about wanting to be alone sometimes. This goes both ways. If your partner wants to spend some time alone, don't take it personally.

Schedule time together. If you're not sure that you can easily balance your alone time and family time, you should schedule time together. For example, you can have lunch together, arrange a standing date night, etc. This will make your spouse feel they are a priority to you.

Don't give up your favorite hobby or pastime. No matter how busy you become once you've gotten married, try to find some time for your favorite hobbies and activities. Your partner should respect your right and need to have your own interests, be it baking, sports, reading, crafts, video games, or photography. As long as your hobby isn't causing any problems, you should keep up on it.

Keep in touch with your friends. A lot of people find it hard to stay in touch with their friends after getting married, and in a couple of years they realize they have no friends left except for their partner. Believe us, it's not a good situation. Your spouse might be your best friend, but you need other friends, too.

Maintain some financial independence. Even if you have a joint bank account, you should also have some money of your own. Having your own money will make you feel less guilty about buying things for yourself. Of course you should make responsible financial decisions as a family, but this doesn't mean you must merge all your money after getting married.

Have your own opinion. A lot of couples who are together for years start to form similar opinions and agree on almost everything. There is nothing wrong with thinking alike, as long as your are not losing yourself. Having a different point of view from that of your partner is totally okay. The most important thing is that you respect each other's opinions and don't start a fight when you disagree on something.