There are thousands of things that people fantasize all the time. For instance, what it would be like to be a bird or a cat, how your desk top really looks like and even how would it be to be divorced. The fantasies about divorce are not so rare among the married couples. But is your marriage in danger, if you daydream about divorce? We will help you find out, what your divorce fantasies really mean and whether you marriage is OK.
First of all, we need to understand the situation, when your divorce fantasies appear. Such situations, when you think it would be much better to be alone again and you didn't have to consult your spouse for every decision you take are typical for any marriage on-going relations. But the situation, when you have a chronic misunderstanding and you or your kids are in jeopardy is totally different thing.
Why do we daydream about divorce? Many people think, that divorce would bring end to all their problems that are connected with marriage. For instance, having no more money problems after inheriting your spouse's debts, being free to do what you want to, re-stabilizing shell-shocked children from the on-going marriage wars.
Whatever your divorce fantasy is, it always has some meaning and you need to understand its roots. When you find and understand the problem that made you fantasize about divorce, then you can face it and save your marriage or really divorce, and thus save your family (it sounds weird, but divorces very often do that and make people feel much better).
Before your fantasies about divorce come true, talk about them to your spouse. We often forget to do that and talk to each other only in our heads, but it's not the way how things can be mended. Open conversation about the things that make you feel unhappy in marriage is what you need. Before you start this conversation, you really need to know, what's your problem and how you see the way to solve it. If you've already talked to you spouse about the problems your marriage faces and have no response, then it's time to get help from marriage counselor and therapist.
Remember, that not every marriage can be saved, and if you know and feel that divorce really can make you feel happier, then get ready for that. First of all, envision your single life and try to add as many details as you can do. The details should concern all aspects of your life: logistics, sharing parenting responsibilities, mowing the lawn on your own and having less money. These things are usually forgotten, and the more details you add to your vision, the less divorce will strike you.
Consult with an attorney to find out about your rights and obligations after the divorce. Still we don't mean, that you cross the line, you just gather the information that will help you make decision. It may turn out, that the divorce won't help you at all, for instance, get rid of your financial problems.
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