7 Signs You Need to Get a Divorce

You're constantly thinking about it. Yelling, “That's it, I'm filing for a divorce!” in the heat of an argument and then regretting it doesn't mean that your marriage is doomed. It's a spur of the moment thing (unless you yell it during each argument, in such a case it's manipulation). But if you're constantly thinking about divorcing and getting more and more comfortable with the idea, maybe you do need to act on it.

You're avoiding your partner. Have you noticed that you've been trying to keep yourself busy just to spend less time around your spouse? You work overtime, hang out with your friends whenever you can, hit the gym every day, have taken up volunteering, etc. Not that all these activities are bad, but if they prevent you from spending quality time with your spouse and you're completely okay with it, it's not a good sign.

When you think of the future, your partner isn't in it. Try to imagine your life in five, ten, twenty years. If you keep seeing yourself doing things on your own, without your spouse by your side, you probably don't want them there.

You stopped sharing things with them. Your husband/wife used to be the first person you called or texted when you had news, and now they are not anymore. Moreover, you need to remind yourself to tell your spouse about important things that happen in your life. By the way, do you know what's going on in their life? If the answer is no, you're already living separate lives, all that's left to do is make it official.

You don't respect each other. Mutual respect is one of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage. When it's gone, your marriage starts to fall apart. You consistently feel rejected, dismissed, and condescended to, and when you talk to your spouse, you're either attacking them for doing something wrong, or defending yourself from their attacks.

One of you is a serial cheater. One short-lived affair doesn't mean that your marriage has to end. If both spouses are willing to leave the past behind and work on their marriage, they can recover from such an affair. But if one of you is a serial cheater, that's a problem you can't fix. If you're the one who does the cheating, ask yourself: do you want to get caught? If you do, that means your marriage is over, you're just a coward who is too afraid to break up with their partner.

Marriage counseling isn't working. You honestly wanted to make things work and even tried marriage counseling as a last resort, but there's no result. You make one step forward, two steps back. The matter is, a counselor is not a magician. They cannot help when both partners aren't equally committed. If you've been seeing the counselor for at least several months and there's no progress at all, you probably don't want your marriage to work.