Human beings have been fighting with enemies for centuries, and now we're really good at it. But one doesn't need an enemy to fight, actually we argue with everyone, who's got different opinion. It can be parents, coworkers and even friends. But how can you argue with a friend the way not to ruin your friendship?
Did you know, that people usually argue not with their enemies, but friends. And it's the most difficult, because your rage can trigger the end of your friendship. If they were your enemies, it would be much simpler! However, you can use the following tips that will help you argue with your friend and keep your friendship in the safe waters.
#1 Understand, what you're fighting about. Mostly arguments are about thinking, what to tell back rather then understanding, what caused the disagreement. And when you get the issue, you really can argue with your friend in a healthy way, because you get their point of view and try to compromise. So remember one simple rule: never argue with your friend, if you can't paraphrase their position in your own words, and they tell you, that it's exactly what they mean.
#2 Never touch banned topics. There are several topics that shouldn't be touched in your argument with a friend. If you see that you start discussing one of them, just try to avoid this conversation, because you will never prove your point of view. These topics are: politics, religion and life choices.
#3 Remember, that your friend sees the world differently. We usually think, that other people are incredibly stupid, because they have different opinion and see the world through different filters. We just can't understand them, and thus think, that our own opinion is the only right one, that can exist. So your friend isn't crazy or stupid at all, just because they don't agree with you. It's just because they look at the situation from another point of view.
#4 Know, what to respond. Sometimes argument can come out of control, and you see, that your friend deliberately says something, that makes you feel angry. Don't let this happen and just ignore their words. Just recognize their intention and tune it out.
#5 No sarcasm. Sarcasm can be used, only when you fight with enemies, because it helps you assert your intellectual superiority and your opinion. But when you're arguing with a friend, there's no place for sarcasm at all.
#6 Value friendship more, than the argument itself. When we fight, we never think about the effect the argument has on our friendship. So before you're going to say something that you will regret later, stop and think, what is more valuable for you: the argument itself or your friendship.
Although arguments with friends are inevitable, don't be afraid of them. Arguing occasionally with each other is normal, no matter how weird it may sound to you. But if you see, that you argue with your friend too often about the same issue, it means, that your friendship is really in trouble. Think, whether you can be yourself with your friend, and if the answer is “No”, then your friendship is definitely in an unhealthy place.
- 8 Signs That You're a Bad Friend, How to Get Over a Friend Breakup, 7 Things That Kill Friendship, 5 Unspoken Rules of Friendship