Most people have more than one close friend. Sometimes our friends belong to different social circles that don't overlap, and when we finally introduce them it turns out that they don't really like each other. Is there a way out of this situation? What to do when your friends don't get along?
First and foremost, you should find out why they dislike each other. Maybe there is no particular reason, they just feel uncomfortable around each other. Maybe it's a matter of conflicting personalities. Maybe two people from different social circles actually know each other and have unresolved issues in their past that you're not aware about. Don't make assumptions, just ask them. Depending on their answers, you can encourage them to get to know each other better or just leave them alone.
Instead of developing strategies and staging an intervention to make your friends get along, have a heart to heart with both of them. Talk to each of your friends and explain that this situation makes you uncomfortable. You should make it absolutely clear that you will remain their friend no matter what, but you will appreciate if they at least try to get along.
If they agree to work out their differences and resolve whatever issues they have, don't get pushy and let them do it on their own terms. You shouldn't interfere in other peoples' relationships, even if these people are your friends who you care about. Sometimes people are incompatible, and there is nothing you can do about it.
When your friends don't get along, you should remain neutral and refrain from taking sides, especially if it this is just a personality clash. Let them resolve their conflicts themselves, you're Switzerland in this situation. When you're hanging out with one of them, don't talk about the other to avoid adding fuel to the fire. And you should stop them from ragging on the other person behind their back.
When you're planning a party or an outing and want to invite both of them, make sure they know that the other person is invited too, and don't get offended if they refuse to come. You should respect their decision. If they accept your invitation, ask them to be polite to each other, that's the least they can do if they consider you their friend.
Remember that your friends don't necessarily have to be good friends with each other. Some people simply don't get along, and you just need to accept it and let it go. It is not easy to find time for each of your groups of friends, but you have to do this when your friends don't like each other.
- So You Hate Your Friend's Boyfriend, How to Introduce Your Friends to Each Other in a Better Way, What to Do If Your BFF Disapproves of Your Significant Other, How to Set Boundaries in a Friendship?