Your friend is going through hard times and weeps over the breakup. What should you do and what can you say to cheer up your friend? It turns out that lots of different things. But beware and don't make some mistakes if you don't want to lose your friend. Here are 5 don'ts for helping your friend who's through a breakup.
#1 Don't lecture, preach and give advice. Listening is the best thing you can do for your friend. Listen to those important things your friend tells you and let your friend know that you hear and you understand. Yes, you've also experienced the same and coped with it, but now it's not your turn to talk. The thing is that preaching, lecturing and giving advice is a trap for two of you. You will be talking about the same things on and on, and it won't help your friend to forget the ex and make the grieve even worse.
#2 Don't overboard trashing your friend's ex. When you listen, you also have to tell something. Well, feel free to criticize your friend's ex. But make sure that you use general terms and don't tell anything personal. For instance “What a jerk!” or “I can't believe he said it to you” will be great. But beware and don't go overboard with trashing the ex. You have to keep your personal dislikes or specific insults safe. If your friend will get back together with that guy you won't want your personal insults floating over your friendship.
#3 Don't compare the situations. Yes, we know that you've already been through it, and your friend might experience for the first time. You've already coped with it and you know that it will pass. But for now let your friend have her moment. After some time when the pain is gone and the wounds are not fresh any more, you can share your story.
#4 Don't make things go faster. It's natural that you want to help your friend to go through it faster and see her happy again, but don't make the things go faster. Don't make your friend enjoy time with friends unless she doesn't want to. It's only her own process, and how long it will last depends only on your friend. It may take 6 days, 6 weeks or 6 months, but it's her pace and you have to respect it.
#5 Don't forget to have fun together. Well, weeping over the boyfriend can't take all the time, and you need to have fun together. Remember the times when you were in middle school and stay for a sleepover at your friend's. Order a big pizza with very delicious toppings, like extra cheese, sausage, pineapple and eat it on the floor while you read the ghost stories aloud. Indulge in chocolate candies and watch movies together.
- How to Be a Supportive Friend, How to Support a Friend on a Diet, So You Hate Your Friend's Boyfriend, How to Help a Friend Go Through a Breakup