How to Help a Friend Go Through a Breakup

How to Help a Friend Go Through a BreakupGoing through a breakup usually is a hurtful experience. If your friend has broken up with her boyfriend (or girlfriend), she will need you to be there for her. How to be a supportive friend and help her go through a breakup?

Let her know you're available. Some people need to be alone immediately after a breakup, and some people need company. Anyway, you should let your friend know that you're available if she needs you. Call or text to check up on her. Invite her to hang out, but don't get offended if she refuses. Maybe she just needs some space right now.

Listen. It's probably the most helpful thing you can do. Just listen attentively and let her know you hear and understand what she's saying. She will probably repeat the same things several times, so be patient. Don't judge, don't lecture, don't give advice unless you are asked to. It's too early to be rational yet. Just let your friend vent.

Distract. What your friend needs now is a good distraction. Don't let the breakup take over your friend's life. Encourage her to have fun with you and hang out with your common friends. Have movie nights, hit the gym together, go on weekend trips, do something (reasonably) crazy. When your friend's social life is busy, she will have less time to think about her ex and try to contact them.

Suggest a makeover. A change in appearance is one of the most effective ways to get over a breakup. Many women cut or dye their hair when they go through a breakup. Encourage your friend to try a makeover. If she is not ready for drastic changes, try out a different makeup style or go clothes shopping.

Don't compare her breakup to one of yours. You've probably gone through a breakup at some point in your life and are eager to share your experience, but it's not the best way to console your friend. You can't understand what she is going through because everyone's experience is unique. You can share your breakup stories later, when your friend's wounds are not so fresh.

Don't trash her ex. You might be tempted to criticize your friend's ex to make her feel better, but you shouldn't do this. Avoid insulting her ex-partner because your insults might backfire spectacularly if your friend end up getting together with her ex. Even if you're always hated them, keep it to yourself.

Be her voice of reason. Your friend might try to do things she is going to regret later, and it is your task to prevent this. Don't let her get wasted and contact her ex, stalk their new boyfriend/girlfriend, quit her job and move to Zimbabwe or do whatever crazy things she might want to try.

Don't forget about yourself. Helping your friend get over a breakup is a good thing to do, but you shouldn’t forget to take care of yourself. It's okay to need some time off because your have your own life and your own problems. Your friend should respect that.



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