How to Live With In-Laws and Still Love Them

Living with the in-laws isn't only about the problems. You may have many benefits, for instance, if you work a lot and come back home late. Your mother-in-law may cook dinner for the whole family, and father-in-law pick up kids after school. However, lack of privacy, and that's mainly what you and your husband need, causes big problems.

Work with your spouse. Don't try to face all problems on your own and whatever happens, don't make your husband choose between you and his relatives. You're both in it together, and only cooperation can help find the right way out of the problems.

Set the boundaries. Before you start living with your in-laws, you have to set some ground rules for everyone. Make sure that you cook in turns, otherwise someone will feel a person responsible for house work. If you have children, they also have to follow certain rules. In case someone disagrees with certain rules, then try to reach a compromise.

Don't interfere into family quarrels. Remember, that it's you spouse's family, and let him deal with his relatives. Whenever you become an unwilling witness of a family conflict, then go to another room and breath deeply. You can't interfere in it.

Don't have third parties. If your sister-in-law drives you crazy, then don't ask anyone to talk to her about it. Approach her directly. Don't make neither your husband, nor their parents a third party for communication. By the way, don't keep silence, if something bothers you. The more you don't tell anything about it, the worse the situation becomes for you. Many problems are just mere misunderstanding!

Find some privacy. You and your husband need privacy, especially if you're newlyweds. You need your own room, where nobody would come in your absence. If someone is coming in, they have to knock. The ideal variant for you and your husband is to have a separate kitchen and bathroom, then you wouldn't see your in-laws very often.

Your in-laws don't have to love you. Your parents love you, but in-laws don't have to. Accept this fact and think of your in-laws different, not better or worst. Just different. Admit the fact that you will often have to see the situation from your in-law's point of view. And even if you disagree, then act like a big person.

Ask for help. Life with in-laws might be difficult, and you might need some help. Don't hesitate to see a family counselor. The therapy will help you make the living with your in-laws less stressful.