So you've met this terrific guy and hit it off immediately. The chemistry is definitely there and you are getting your hopes up. But then he tells you he has kids – and not just has kids living somewhere with their mother. He has kids who stay with him full time. Is it a good idea to try dating him? Here are the pros and cons of dating a single dad.
Pro. He is serious about relationships and doesn't play games. Well, it is not exactly a good thing if you are looking for something casual, but it's great if you want a long-term committed relationship. Most single fathers do not take dating lightly because their personal life affects their children. So if he asked you on a second date, he is serious about it.
Con. His kids will always come first. You need to understand that you'll never be the most important person in his life (or at least not at this stage). The kids are his priority, this means he will have less time to spend with you and less money to spend on your outings. Get ready to have dates canceled because of children-related emergencies.
Pro. He is nurturing and sensitive. If he takes good care of his kids, he will also take good care of you. This is true for most single dads, particularly if they are raising daughters. Of course, all single fathers are different, but there is a good chance that the guy you've met is loyal, compassionate and selfless.
Con. He's a package deal. And we don't only mean kids, kids are OK. We mean his ex who will always be present in his children's lives unless the man is a widower. And by extension she will be present in his and yours, too. He will have to communicate with his ex for the sake of their kids, and you will have to deal with it even if she's a monster or you're jealous.
Pro. You will be able to plan your time. Single dads usually have a tight schedule because they need to allocate time between work, kids and personal life. If he really likes you, he will find time for your dates in his tight schedule. You will always know when you are going to see him, which gives you the opportunity to plan your own time accordingly.
Con. You can forget about spontaneity. Every medal has its reverse. Your boyfriend's tight schedule means that you won't be able to be spontaneous. For example, if he's going somewhere with you, he needs to find a babysitter for his kids first, so he will not appreciate a surprise date or weekend getaway. Oh, and you will never be able to have sex on every surface in the house with kids around.
Pro. He's got kids. If he is raising kids, he is an emotionally mature individual who is able to create a safe environment for his family. He is protective of his family and understands the importance of being a good role model for his children. If you are thinking about having kids with him one day, you can make sure in advance that he will be a great father.
Con. He's got kids. His kids might treat you as a trespasser at first, so you will have to deal with it. Besides, if you decide to have a child with him, this child won't be his first. And what if you want to have children and he doesn't because he thinks he already has enough? Finally, if you don't want to be a stepmom and/or have your own kids, this is definitely a deal-breaker.
- 8 Tips for Dating a Single Dad, 10 Things You Have to Know About Dating a Single Mom