5 Tips for Being in an Undefined Relationship
Some couples these days avoid labeling their relationship. There is nothing bad in this per se, but an undefined relationship can quickly turn confusing and even toxic if the parties aren't on the same page. Here are 5 tips for being in an undefined relationship and staying sane.Make sure that this is what you really want. Some people agree to be in an undefined relationship because they think that this is their only chance to be with the person they like. They secretly hope that one day he or she will change their mind and put a label on the relationship. Sometimes it happens, but often it doesn't. When you're getting into an undefined relationship, you need to know exactly what you're signing up for, otherwise you're doomed for heartbreak.
Define the boundaries of your relationship. Yes, we realize that this sounds like an oxymoron because an undefined relationship is a relationship that isn't defined (hello, Captain Obvious!). However, both of you need to make the expectations clear from the beginning. Is it a friends of benefits type of thing? Or more like casual dating without committing to something serious? Are you going to be exclusive? You need to make sure you're on the same page before starting this relationship.
Communicate. An undefined relationship is still a relationship. Not wanting to label it might mean a lot of things, but it doesn't mean that you don't care about each other. If you didn't, you wouldn't be in a relationship in the first place. So to make this relationship work, you need to be honest with yourself and the other person. It's vital that you speak up if something is bothering you or if you want to reconsider the whole “let's not put any labels on this” thing.
Keep in mind that it's actions that matter. Just because the person you're with is not your official boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't mean that they are taking advantage you. A lot of undefined relationships are just like regular relationships. If your “not boy/girlfriend” is there for you when you need them the most, if they are supportive and affectionate, if you feel special when you're with them, does it really matter that you're not Facebook official?
Do what feels right for the two of you. Brace yourself for pressure because we're a society obsessed with labels. There will be rumors. There will be unsolicited advice from your friends and family. People might tell you a lot of things you don't want to hear (like “Your relationship is toxic” or “You need to settle down”). Just get used to it and do whatever feels right. It's your life and your relationship.