So Your Best Friend Is a Liar

So Your Best Friend Is a LiarOur world is full of lie and you probably won't find any person, who is totally true with you. Even your best friend can lie to you to protect your interests or just to hide something important in their life, that they don't want to share with you. For now. But what should you do, when you find out that your best friend is a liar?

Lie can be different. It can be something silly, that doesn't affect anyone. And there is a white lie, that many of us use just to be polite and keep relations going. For instance, your friend's baked cookies, but they are awful. You can tell your friend what you think of their culinary projects, or keep eating cookies and hope, that your friend will never ever cook them again.

There's also the most dangerous for your relations with everyone type of lie, that affects you. Let's say, your friend lies to you about the income they've made last year. This lie never affects you and you even don't need to bother about it. But if your friend has talked behind your back (and you know it) and now they're denying it, it's definitely the kind of lie you should deal with.

Dealing with people who lie to you is always hard, and mostly the outcome depends on the kind of lie you've faced and your own way to confront it. Let's see, what you can do.

Step 1: think, whether you need to talk to your friend or not. The very first thing that comes to your mind is to confront the liar and tell them, that you know the truth. If you want to lose your best friend forever, that's the right way to go! Any kind of confrontation makes the situation even worse, because your friend will keep lying to you just to avoid a serious conversation.

Step 2: talk to people, who can influence your friend. If your friend's lie affected your studying at school, for instance, you couldn't finish a group project on time, because you had to do everything on your own, then have a chat with you teacher. Don't tell, that your friend was lazy, keep to the lines, that you couldn't communicate with them.

Step 3: talk honestly to your friend. In case your friend hasn't changed at all and keeps lying to you, then it's time to talk honestly to them. Don't cry and yell, because this way you create a new level of open conflict. Instead of that, tell your friend, that you know about the lie. Don't be surprised, if your friend will start denying it. Insist on your knowledge and tell them to tell you everything. By the way, you might be surprised with the new lies you never knew about!

Step 4: ask, why they did it to you. It's very important for you know why your friend did it to you. It could be the way to protect you from something bad, or keep a bit of privacy in their life. It's totally OK to act this way.

Step 5: try to talk it out. Nobody loves liars, and you want to keep your friendship, right? Talk out the problems you have. A frank conversation, is what you need. By the way, you may find out, that the problem was in you!

Step 6: be aware of future lies. Once you know, that your friend has lied to you, it may happen again. It doesn't mean that your trust issues will end your friendship, but they can really affect it. And in case you see, that your friend hasn't changed, it's time to think about keeping liars away from you. May be, your friend is already not your friend any more, otherwise they wouldn't treat you this way.



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