How to End an On and Off Relationship

Tip 1. Find the strength to admit that when it's over, it's over. A lot of people can't admit that their relationship is over just because they've spend years together. However, if your relationship has fallen apart, it doesn't matter how long you've been together. Every time you try to mend it, you fail. It's time to break out of this vicious circle and get over the fact that you will be better off without each other.

Tip 2. Don't have break up sex. There is no such thing as “just sex” with your (soon-to-be) ex. Sex means intimacy, and there are always emotions involved, especially if you have the history of emotional attachment to your partner. There is a high probability that break up sex will make you wonder whether you should get back together, and you will start a new cycle of your on-again off-again relationship. You must resist the temptation to have sex one last time before saying goodbye.

Tip 3. Cut your ex off. Cutting your ex off might seem harsh, but it is absolutely necessary if you want to end an unhealthy relationship. No texts, no phone calls, no Facebook stalking, no coffee dates as “just friends”. If you want to end this relationship for good, you need to isolate yourself from your ex as much as possible until you're absolutely sure you've moved on. And remember that a rebound relationship isn't a sign of moving on; a lot of couples in an on-again off-again relationship see other people during the “off-phase”.

Tip 4. Beware of old patterns. You've probably already been through several breakups with your on an off partner. Every time you swear that you're 100 percent done with this relationship, yet you get back together. If you want to end an on and off relationship forever, you need to beware of the old patterns that typically cause you to reunite. Don't repeat these patterns.

Tip 5. Don't try to become friends. It is sometimes possible to become good friends with your ex, but if you were in an on and off relationship, it's not the case. If you start hanging out, you will end up getting back together because that's how this kind of relationship works.

Tip 6. Make sure you have no time to think about your ex. If you want to resist the temptation to get back together, you should distract yourself as much as possible. Keep yourself busy with work/school/hobbies etc, surround yourself with friends who will support and distract you, etc. When your start thinking about your ex, remind yourself of the bad times, that will remind you that breaking up was the right decision and that you deserve better.