Lying to oneself is a coping mechanism, it helps people ignore problems and stay inside their comfort zone. But ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away, and being unable to step out of your comfort zone prevents your personal growth. That is why you need to stop using this unhealthy coping mechanism. Here are five lies you need to stop telling yourself.
“I'm too... to change.” I'm too old to change, I'm too broke to change, I'm too dumb to change... this phrase has an infinite number of variations. But the truth is, it's never too late to change and pursue your dreams. For example, British actor Sam Beazley owned an antique shop for most of his life (although he used to act professionally as a teenager). He returned to acting at age 75 and has appeared in a variety of stage and film productions, including Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix. He also became a painter in his nineties. Remember that it is never late to try new things.
“I am not... enough.” Once again: I'm not smart enough, I'm not funny enough, I'm not beautiful enough, I'm not skinny, I'm not good enough... What's enough, anyway? Such statements stem from comparison to other people, and you should never ever compare yourself to others because it is unproductive and harmful for your self-esteem.
“Nobody loves me.” Although sometimes you may feel like you're all alone in this world, it's not true. There's always someone out there who loves you and cares about you. You're just too focused on being miserable and feeling sorry for yourself. Remember that everyone in this world is worthy of live, and that includes you.
“I don't deserve happiness.” Absolutely everyone has the right to be happy regardless of their accomplishments and merits because happiness is our birthright. But you cannot be happy while you're telling yourself you don't deserve it. Maybe the problem is that you don't fully realize what happiness is. Remember that it isn't necessarily attached to material success or being in a relationship.
“I need to be perfect.” No, you don't. No one is perfect, perfection is an abstract concept that has nothing to do with reality. Perfectionism is harmful for your self-esteem because it holds you back. Don't go for perfect, go for good enough. Don't try to become perfect, try to become better than you were yesterday. Don't let other people's standards and social expectations make you feel like you cannot achieve anything and remember that people who really care about you don't want you to be perfect, they want you to be happy.
- 6 Ways to Keep Your Mind Healthy, 6 Tips for Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone, 7 Things You Should Never Say to Yourself, 6 Signs Your Life Is on the Right Track