How to Take It Slow in a Relationship

Be honest and clear. Before deciding to take things slow, make sure you're on the same page with the other person. People can misread “taking things slow” for “playing hard to get,” “sending mixed signals,” or “uninterested”. So if you don't want to rush into anything, make it absolutely clear. You don't have to justify yourself or explain anything, but you need to make sure that your potential partner understands what's going on. You do like them, you just want to take it slow.

Keep living your life. When you really like the person you've just started seeing, you might want to spend all your time with them. However, you should make sure you have some time for yourself. You should continue hanging out with your friends, spending time alone, pursuing your hobbies, etc, in order not to get too engrossed in a relationship. Group dates can be a good compromise: you're spending time with the person you date without the intensity of one-on-one dates and hanging out with friends at the same time.

Don't have sex (but do talk about it). By taking it slow most people mean not having sex until they're absolutely sure they met the right person. For some people (especially women) having sex means a certain level of commitment in a relationship. You should get to know each other before having sex. So we suggest you establish the “no hands (or anything) south of the equator” rule and avoid sleeping over, even if it is meant to be completely platonic. However, this doesn't mean that you should leave sex completely out. You can make out, send each other naughty texts and tell your partner how much you want them.

Have fun. The point of taking it slow is having fun going on dates and just being together. Make sure your dates are active and exciting, don't stick to the “dinner and a movie” option. You can have picnics, go hiking or ice-skating, cook or bake together, play board games, go to the beach, hang out with friends, etc. Just keep it interesting and make sure each of your dates is exciting and unforgettable.

Don't say “I love you” yet. Wanting to take things slow doesn't mean that you're unsure of the person you're dating, people may want to take it slow in a relationship for a variety of reasons. So if you love them (or you think you love them) but still don't want to rush, you shouldn't say “I love you” yet. Enjoy what you have and save the big words for when you finally get serious.