Some women (and sometimes even men) like playing hard to get to make someone they are interested in actively pursue them. This tactics is a cat-and-mouse chase in which both parties think they are the cat. But does playing hard to get really work? How can you be sure that your target will chase you instead of moving on?
People who are playing hard to get never initiate contact and take the lead. However, they hint that they would love to go out with the object of their attention. When they finally get asked out, they act like doing a huge favor. They are ambiguous and vague, they are hot and cold, they can be nice and sweet without being clingy and pushy. They drive people mad by not revealing their real intentions.
Many people think that playing hard to get is a must when dating. This concept is reinforced by movies, TV shows and how-to dating guides. But do you really need to play hard to get every time you want to start a relationship?
Playing hard to get does indeed work, but this doesn't necessarily mean that it is the best tactics in each case. First of all, you need to understand that this strategy only works when the object of your attention is already interested in you to some degree. If they don't like you yet, the strategy will backfire.
Secondly, there are people who like challenge and there are people who don't. If the person you are interested in belongs to the second category, there is no point in playing hard to get. They simply won't take your bait.
You should also keep in mind that there's a difference between playing hard to get and being hard to get. It is important to know when to stop and give in. You don't want the person feel like they are Achilles trying to catch up with the tortoise, but constantly failing.
Playing hard to get can do wonders to your self-esteem and help you master the art of flirting. However, if you want to have a committed relationship built on trust, it is better to be honest from the start. The key word in “playing hard to get” is “playing”: it is a game, and games don't typically end well when there are feelings involved.
The bottom line is that whether playing hard to get will work or not depends on the situation and the guy/girl you are after. Sometimes this strategy works, sometimes it doesn't. When it comes to dating, you need to take chances: nothing ventured, nothing gained. The only thing we are sure of is that you shouldn't resort to this strategy if you feel uncomfortable doing it. Dating is supposed to be fun, not a burden.