What to Do If Your Mother-in-Law Hates You

The problem of mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law is as old as the hills. It's familiar to many families and sometimes happy marriages are ruined thanks to efforts of MIL. The more this tension between you and your mother-in-law lasts, the more difficult it gets to solve the problem. However, there's always a way out.

It's not you, it's her. Don't think that you're not good enough for your spouse. In fact you MIL would hate the same way any woman your husband loved strong enough to call “wife”. The reason is very often caused by the jealousy of the tittle you hold. You love her son and can give him something that she can't give him. So try to understand your mother-in-law!

Talk to your MIL. It may seem hard enough to talk to people who hate you, but you have to try. Try to find out what you've done wrong (if it's jealousy, well, you can't do nothing about it, because it's not you). May be you've hurt your mother-in-law by something and you didn't notice it at all. Simple misunderstanding is very often the core of the problem. And if you manage to solve it, then apologize and forget about everything that's been going on for years.

Talk to your husband. Your husband is the person who should pave your way to his family. Tell him the reason why it's not possible. But don't tell directly that his mother is a witch who would like to poison you. It will lead to an argument. Be more polite. May be your spouse has an advice for you, at least he's spent a lot of time with his mother and knows how to please her. Ask your husband to talk to his mother about the situation. He has to protect you and be on your side.

Talk to your father-in-law. There is only one man who knows your MIL as no one else and probably is aware of her mood changes. It's your father-in-law. You need to be friends with him and then he will protect you whenever your MIL talks about you when you're not around.

Try to meet her expectations. The problem in your relations may be caused by the fact that you don't meet expectations of your MIL. She would like you to do certain things, while you don't. Ask your MIL straight what she expects of you as a daughter-in-law. If it's something that you can agree with, then it's great. But if you disagree, then explain your point of view in a diplomatic way. And use “We” sentences instead of “I” sentences.