How to Deal With Relatives Who Take Advantage of You

Taking advantage of somebody often starts as little and simple requests, but gradually they become more common and finally get to a regular schedule. You relatives have an emotional sway over you, and you can't do anything about it. You just do whatever your relatives ask in order not to feel guilty for your refusal. You think that it's not a big deal to help your relatives once more, because you've already done it one thousand times. But why do you feel like being exploited?

You can fight the relatives who take advantage of you, and you have to learn say “No” to your family. Be firm in your decision, even if you're not used to refuse to help. You clearly understand that your family takes advantage of you and whatever you do for them leads only to resentment and anger. But you know that you need this step, otherwise nothing will change.

Once you've said “No” to your relatives and it really worked, repeat it as often as possible. However, don't refuse to help whenever your relatives ask for it. May be they really need your help, and this time it's got nothing to do with taking advantage of you.

Be ready that your relatives will start to ask you and insist on your help. Let your relatives talk, it's necessary. But you have to stay calm and keep silence. The more you talk and tell about the reason why you can't help this time, the weaker you become. So be firm and keep silence. Your “No” really means it, not “Yes, I will”.

In many cases the relatives are so much used to take advantage of you, that they even don't notice that they hurt you. Or may be they take it for granted. You can fight their behavior by pointing out that they manipulate you. Nobody wants to admit that they really do it!

Next time when your relative is asking you for something that you don't want to do, tell the phrase “When you said that it sounded like you though I have an obligation to do this”. This a very important phrase, because it will focus your relative onto the thing that they manipulate you. Your relative will not want to admit that he or she is taking advantage and drop the subject.

In case your relative keeps pushing you, stick to the phrase. It will force your relative to paraphrase the request appropriately, and here you choose whether to help or not.

Getting well along with people is hard, and sometimes your relatives may drive you crazy. But a bit of psychology will help you to deal with any situation.