Being friends with different people isn't always easy, especially if they are guilt trippers. They use your guilt to manipulate you and make you do everything they need and want to. It's terrible, isn't it? However, you can find out how to deal with guilt trippers.
Let's put is simple: guilt tripping is a form of communication, that people use to manipulate others. The guilt trippers always remember the times when you were wrong and hurt them. They recall these situations every time and point out, that it's the worst thing that could ever happen to them. You feel guilty and do everything that your friend is telling you.
Guilt trippers are entirely blind on the damage their form of communication causes on any relations, not only friendship. They are not aware about the poisonous effect of guilt tripping, that ruins your friendship. Guilt tripping causes emotional distance, and in long-term impact guilt trippers are likely to have an opposite result from what they want.
The best thing you could do with a guilt tripping friend, is forget about them. But if you can't and you really love this person (especially if guilt tripping is not so often), you can try to handle this situation and teach your friend to ask you about some favors in a different way.
Talk about your feelings. This the most obvious way to solve the problem with your guilt tripping friend. Tell your friend that this form of communication really hurts you. You've already made up for what you've done, and they don't need to guilt you into doing something. It only causes resentment and you end up complying doing something, that you really don't want to. You understand the feelings and wishes of your friend, but he or she could ask you do something in a more polite way.
Give back anything that you owe. It's very important for you to give back anything that you owe your guilt tripper. Money, a car ride, a cup of coffee – anything that the guilt tripper may use against you. It's not good to owe favors, especially, if those who demand something take more than they give.
Handle your own issues. At the beginning some guilt trippers may seem very kind to handle your problems, but in the end they will always remind you about it. Act like an adult and handle your own issues on your own. Whenever the guilt tripper offers you help, don't agree. You never know when the favors might come back in the form of guilt tripping.
Stand up for yourself. It doesn’t' mean that you have to lose your temper, be hurtful or disrespectful. It means that you don't have to let others guilt trip you. If you see that your friend tries to guilt trip you on something you're working on, express to them how you're working on it.
Don't give a guilt tripper the reaction they are trying to get. Resist your temptation to feel guilty, and hurt feelings of your friend, if you know that it's necessary.
This form of communication is a habit for guilt trippers, that's why don't think that you can change the person in one day only, when you succeed to resist. Be prepared for future guilt trips, and they will be. It'll take some time to change this habit, so keep patience.
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