How to Deal With a Control Freak

Control freaks are very hard to get along well, because they always know, what's better for you, what you should tell, do and feel. They try to control the situation and very often think, that no one will make it the right way, only them. Any kind of objection to their opinion causes the wave of irritation and abuse.

The best thing you can do, regarding your mental health, is to avoid a bossy person and try to estrange yourself, but it's not always possible. For instance, you can't make anything to the member of your family or a colleague, unless you chose to live separately or change your job. But you can keep yourself away from your friend, who wants to control everything, or break up with this person, if you're dating. The earlier you recognize a control freak in your environment, the easier you can deal with this person.

Don't try to control the controller. Be assertive, make sure the bossy person is aware that you won't tolerate being controlled. Controllers love to struggle for anything and win, that's why you have to find something really important for you. Whenever the control freak starts controlling you, talk that this behavior is affecting you. Beware not to hurt this person by calling them bossy.

Don't try to please the bossy person. Whenever you fall under control of this person, you please them. Don't get caught in this trap!

Stay calm. Yes, it's hard to stay calm when your screaming inside, but don't make a control freak pleased with your behavior. When you stay calm, the control freak is also calm and they see that you're not easily controlled. Just don't get aggravated and avoid aggressive language!

Set the limits of control. Your bossy friend or relative will surely tell you, how to behave in a certain situation and what to do. Limit the control by setting the limits. Be polite and say, that you value this advice, but you want to work through this yourself. Don't expect that the controller will leave you alone, they never give up so easily. Just reiterate your stance over the days and weeks, till the control freak remembers it. But when you reach an impasse, then set this subject off the limits.

You will never be heard, admit it. Control freaks only pretend not to hear other people, when they suggest any ideas. But later the controllers use the ideas they've heard and come up with them, like with their own. There's no way to struggle it, unfortunately. Just stop suggesting new ideas, you will keep good relations and keep the controller from getting worried about your end.

Whenever you explain your own reasoning to a control freak, then do it non-defensively. The calmer you are and the less you insist (remember not to control the controller), the more chances you will be heard!

Always be calm whenever you have to deal with the control freak. This person uses your own emotions against you. Just don't give this person any chance to manipulate you and you will be fine.