How to Deal With Being Jealous of Your Friend's Success

Acknowledge your envy. The first step in solving any problem is acknowledging that it exists. It may be hard to admit that you envy your friend because it means acknowledging your insecurity and low self-esteem. But you need to name it in order to tame it. Once you've acknowledged a negative emotion, it starts losing its power over you.

Stop comparing yourself to your friend. Comparing yourself to other people is counterproductive. Every person is unique, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. You shouldn't compete with your friends. If you want to be as successful as they are, you need to be your own competition. Don't try to be better than someone, try to be better than you are.

Remind yourself of your own successes. You certainly have something to be proud of, so be proud! Instead of focusing on your friend's accomplishments, focus on your own. Keep in mind that your achievements matter, however small they might seem to you. Make a list of your accomplishments and put it on the fridge or keep it in your diary/password protected folder if you don't want other people to see it. Re-read the list every time you experience frenvy (that's what friend envy is sometimes called).

Talk it out. If you need to talk about your jealous feelings, contact someone unconnected with the situation. It may be a relative or another friend. Just make sure that everything you say stays between you two. Sometimes it is useful to let yourself wallow in self-pity before getting a grip and moving on.

Celebrate their success. The ability to be genuinely happy for your friend is an important part of any friendship. Buy them a cake, go out for drinks, throw a party or have a sleepover as if you were teenagers. Having fun together will help you forget your bitterness.

Use your envy as motivation. If you are jealous of your friend's accomplishments, use it to motivate self-improvement. If they can do it, you can do it, too. For example, your friend has won a writing contest, and you've always been too intimidated to submit your writings anywhere. Well, the time to try has come! If you want to achieve something, you need to actually make effort.

Become a cheerleader. Instead of seeing your friend as a competition, see them as your teammate. By becoming their number one fan you become invested in their success. Friends are supposed to support each other, and when your friend accomplishes something with your help, their success becomes your success, too.

Get over it. Life is unfair, and some people get better opportunities than others. It's not your friend's fault that they are more successful, but it's not your fault either. Deal with the fact that you have no power over some things and don't let your jealousy ruin a good friendship.