When we are young, we hope our friendships will last forever. When we grow up, however, we lose contact with some of our friends due to various reasons. Is it possible to get a friend back into your life after you've lost touch? Here are some tips on how to rekindle an old friendship.
Think about why you've lost touch. As we've already said, friendships end due to various reasons. Sometimes it is difficult to stay in touch because of conflicting schedules and/or long distances. Sometimes friends have a fight and don't make up. Sometimes they just grow apart. Consider whether you genuinely want to be friends again.
Reach out. Simply wanting to get in touch again is not enough, you need to actually make a move. Probably the best way to do it is to write a Facebook message or an email. Tell them you've missed them and want to catch up. You may write about how you've been doing all this time, but there is no need to send lengthy messages. Too much information at once might be overwhelming, so take baby steps.
Arrange a meeting. If you don't feel any awkwardness while chatting on Facebook, you should meet in person. If you live within driving distance, you can have a casual coffee date. If you cannot meet face-to-face, schedule a Skype session or a phone date. Keep the first conversation short and schedule another meeting if you think the first one has gone well.
Surprise them. Do something nice and unexpected. Send your friend a postcard, a handwritten letter, or a small present. This will show them that your really care. Just don't go overboard, because expensive presents will make them feel uncomfortable, like you're trying to bribe them and buy their friendship.
Don't rush things. Be realistic: you won't become BFFs straight away. Learning to be comfortable in each other's company may take some time. You need to take things slow. Think of it as a “test run”. You need to see how it works before opening up and starting to trust each other unconditionally again.
Resolve past issues. If you stopped being friends because of a fight, you need to work through your conflict and address hard feelings. If both of you have enough maturity to handle this, there won't be any problem. Be honest with your friend and don't try to confront them. Apologize for your faults and let them apologize for theirs.
Don't expect your friendship will be the same. You've both changed, you are not the people you once were, and your friendship will never be the same again as well. This is not bad. You have a chance to build a new kind of friendship that will be even better than the old one.
Commit. Learn from your past mistakes and don't let yourself lose touch once again. Friendship, like any other relationship, needs work. However, if your constantly feel like this relationship is one-sided, we suggest you consider whether it is worth the effort. Rekindling a friendship is a two-way street. You can't put all the effort and expect that this will work.
- 6 Ways to Be More Likeable, How to Keep in Touch With College Friends After Graduation