Sadly, emotional abuse is not rare, it can happen to anyone. While physical abuse in a relationship is fairly obvious, emotional abuse is harder to detect. In some cases, the victim doesn't even realize that they are being abused by their partner. Here are 7 signs of an emotionally abusive spouse you should be aware of.
They try to isolate you. Emotionally abusive spouses don't want you to have a life outside of the relationship, so they try to prevent you from spending time with other people, including your family and friends. If you let them do it, you'll be cut off from your support system when things turn really bad. If you do things without your spouse, they may try to punish your for it by insulting, threatening or worse.
They verbally abuse you. Derogatory pet names aren't funny, even when the person who uses them says they are joking. They are hurtful and cruel. In a healthy relationship, one spouse will never degrade the other. Abusers who use derogatory names often blame their victims for being too sensitive or having no sense of humor, but the truth is they just cover themselves.
They always blame others. Abusers tend to blame other people for their problems or shortcomings. They never admit to being at fault and never take responsibility; when they mess up, they always have someone else to blame. When you fight, they always say it was because of you even if they were the one who started it.
They make you feel guilty. Abusers manipulate their victims through emotions, they try to make them feel guilty all the time. An abusive spouse wants things done their way. If something is not to their liking, they will try to make you believe it's all your fault. And even when you know it's not, you may start feeling guilty because your spouse looks genuinely hurt.
They are extremely jealous. Everyone can get jealous sometimes, but most people are able to keep their jealousy under control because they trust their partners. Abusers, however, can't do this. An abusive partner is often jealous of you, even when there is absolutely no reason to be. They don't care, their jealousy is completely irrational.
They intimidate you. Although not all emotionally abusive spouses eventually turn to physical abuse, they might threaten to. Abuses often try to control their victims with threats of violence. Sometimes they would strike or break objects, shout or physically restrain the victim from leaving during an argument. If you feel fear when you're around your spouse, if you're not feeling safe in your own house, that's very bad.
They have a dual personality. Emotional abusers aren't treating their victims badly all the time, they can be very sweet and caring. It's called the cycle of abuse. After the incident of abuse (be it an argument, intimidation, threats, name calling, jealous outburst, passive aggressive behavior or something else), they apologize. They become sweet and caring, and you start thinking that everything is okay. But once you're comfortable, their abusive personality reveals itself once again. Eventually, the “honeymoon phases” between the incidents of abuse become shorter and shorter, but the victim is already stuck in a vicious circle.
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