Generally, people who engage in one-night stands aren't looking for a relationship, they just want to blow off some steam. That is exactly why one-night stands are described as sexual encounters without emotional commitment or future involvement. However, sometimes people end up dating after a one-night stand, although it doesn't occur often. So, how to turn a one-night stand into something more?
First and foremost, you need to understand that sometimes it is impossible to turn a one-night stand into a relationship, even a casual one, for a variety of reasons (mostly because someone who has one-night stands is clearly not looking for love, they just want sex). But if you really like the guy you've slept with, it wouldn't hurt to at least try. Just don't get too clingy and move on quickly if he doesn't reciprocate.
So, you met a guy, you talked for a bit, then had really great sex and continued talking about anything and everything. You definitely clicked, you have terrific sexual chemistry, and you think that you can be good together, but you are not sure that he thinks the same. Should you try to score a date with your one-night stand?
Well, it never hurts to try. In the worst-case scenario, you will be rejected, but we think that dealing with rejection is still better than asking yourself every day, “What would have happened if I had tried to ask him out?”. But before trying, ask yourself several important questions:
- Was the sex good?
- Was he interesting outside of the bedroom?
- Did he treat you well?
If at least one of your answers is no, reconsider the whole thing. Would your really want to date someone who treats you bad, doesn't satisfy you in bed, or can't maintain an engaging conversation? But if all three answers are yes, then you can try.
As we've already said, if you want the guy to ask you out, you shouldn't get too clingy. So don't outstay your welcome if you are at his place, or don't make him stay if you are at your place. Paradoxically, your willingness to walk away (or to let him go) is what will make you appealing. If the guy wants to spend the night with you, he will let you know.
To make a good impression, follow the unwritten one-night stand etiquette. Don't overshare, don't ask him too many personal questions, don't sneak out while your partner is sleeping, don't refuse to have breakfast if he offers (or make him a simple breakfast if he stayed the night at your place).
Don't forget to exchange phone numbers. Of course, you can find the guy on Facebook, but that borders on creepy stalking. Asking for his phone number is a way better strategy. And don't be afraid to actually use the number. However, you shouldn't blow up the poor guy's phone. Wait for a couple of days, and if he doesn't contact you, text him first and see what happens.
Your text should be simple, something like, “I had a really good time the other night, you wanna grab drinks sometime?” If he answers yes, congratulations! You've scored your date. If he answers no or ignores you, don't get too upset. You haven't done anything wrong, the guy was just looking for no-strings-attached sex.
- Can a One-Night Stand Turn into a Relationship?, One-Night Stand Etiquette, Is It Relationship or Dating: 5 Signs to Know your Status, 6 Things All Girls Want Their Guys to Do on a First Date