How to Bring a New Baby Into a Blended Family

Your Feelings

You're happy and excited, because you're about to become a mom, but at the same time you feel a bit anxious too. You don't know, how your stepchildren (or even your children) will accept these news. There are too many worries, that may trouble you, and they will affect your pregnancy.

You don't have to suffer on your own, because your spouse also thinks a lot about it. So tell him about your feelings and what makes you feel upset. If the conversation with your partner won't make you feel better, then talk about your feelings to your parents or friends. If you have friends with blended families, ask them how they found the way out of this situation.

If it's your first baby and your spouse already has children living with you, you might find it easier to love your child, than your stepchildren. Don't let this feeling spoil your relations with children, reassure them that you still love them and spend as much time with them as you can.

Your Spouse's Feelings

Bringing a new family into the house may cause your partner to struggle with many feelings. He will want to make everyone happy, that's why he will try to spend time with you, his children/stepchildren and the baby. But it can't be done simultaneously, that's why sometimes he will be with children, then with the baby, and only then with you. At some point you might feel being ignored, but it's really not this way. Your husband just cant give his attention to everyone.

Your husband also may feel guilty, especially, if the older children are jealous about the baby or show no signs of enthusiasm. Your spouse has to reassure older children, that they are still loved and arrival of the baby won't change it.

Your Children's/Stepchildren's Feelings

When it's your first marriage and both of you don't have children, then arrival of a new baby is very simple, because there are only two of you and you both understand your feelings. But when you already have children, it's more complicated, especially, if they are stepchildren. You never know, whether they will be excited about that fact of having a half-brother or a half-sister or not.

Your and your spouse have to tell children about the pregnancy before it becomes visible. You don't want them to learn it from your relatives or friends, don't you? Children deserve to know about it, because they are the part of your family too, no matter whether they are your children or your stepchildren.

Talk to your spouse, how you will tell about the pregnancy and the baby to children. Choose the right time and see the reaction. It may happen, that older children will be excited with the news, however, the reaction may be totally opposite. If the children don't show any feelings at all, don't be disappointed. It will take some time till older children understand the news, and till that time don't push them.