How to Avoid Favoritism in Your Family

There are many ways how favoritism can become part of your family life. Some little things you do or tell mean a lot to your children. But the problem is, that favoritism is very easy to notice in other families, while you never see it in your own family. Well, our little list of things that you shouldn't do will help you stay in safe water.

Never compare your children. Every child is unique and when you compare, you set an example. Whether you do it as a way of punishment or motivation, the outcome is always the same. It never works, the other child doesn't behave better, and at the same time they start hating the other, the “golden child”. Is there reason to try harder to be loved by mom and dad? No, because your child knows, that they will never catch up with the “golden” sibling.

Don't be a judge. Although you have nothing to do with it, your kids may ask you to be a judge. No matter what your judgment will be, the second kid, who did a bit worse, will think that it's based on your personal preference.

Don't put your kids in competition. Yes, it's one of the things that parents do very often, when they want to win a couple of quiet minutes and have everything done by the kids. But when you make your children compete, you subtly convey the message that the winner is loved more. Children easily confuse winning competitions and winning parental love.

Don't make the youngest child the center of your family. It's very hard to take care of two children, when one of then is a baby. Babies need more attention, we know it, but your older child also requires your love. Remember it, when you hurry up home because your toddler needs changing diapers and your older child still wants to stay outside and play a little more. Explain the things to your child as they are and try to solve the problem you have together.

Don't take sides. Whenever parents see a conflict between children, they have an urge to get involved. And what is the way out of the conflict? Yes, to punish the starter. It's our common way, but remember, that any conflict needs two sides. So instead of punishing one child only and showing how sorry you are for the second one, adopt the rule, that both of them have the same consequences for fighting. If your children can't share computer, then both of them go to their rooms and calm down. There's no other way to solve the conflict without showing any sign of favoritism.