How to Deal With Difficult Teenage Stepchildren

The second marriage isn't easier and happier than the first one. Although the two of you are more mature and you won't let some problems that you've faced before ruin your happy marriage life once more, you forget to take into consideration, what the stepchildren will think of this new blended family. Wrong introduction of you as a new second half of their parent and certain mistakes in upbringing have led to the problems that you have now. And now your task is to solve them.

First of all, cooperate with your spouse. Tell your spouse, what kind of difficulties you have with your stepchildren. Your spouse has to stand up for you and speak to children and explain them, that they need to treat you right. If yous spouse doesn't do it, then nothing will make your stepchildren change their behavior. Moreover, taking situation under control might require the cooperation of both natural parents of your steps.

Establish house rules. Teenagers might think, that adults are allowed to do everything they want to, we understand, that we also have to follow some rules, that are deeply integrated in our everyday life. Concerning teenagers, they are still not adults and they require some guidance from parents and stepparents, that's why house rules are very important. Talk to you spouse about the house rules and agree on them. It's very important, otherwise your teenage stepchild will start playing one parent against the other. And when it comes to establishing the rules, let your spouse do it, because they are likely to accept them, if they come from their natural parent.

Give your stepchildren some freedom. It may take a long time, before your stepchildren will recognize your authority. During this time don't make your teenage stepchildren obey you, and if you see that some problem needs to be handled, let their natural parent do it. Also remember, that teenagers need less discipline than children, that's why allow them to do some things and see how they face the consequences of their deeds. Make all of it come as natural as possible and let your stepchildren demonstrate what they've learned. And don't scold, because it won't work. Just let your stepchildren make their own decisions and live with the consequences. Of course, we're not talking here about the consequences that threaten life.

Go slowly and don't force the things. You can't make your stepchildren love you in one day, so just try to keep the positive relations that you have. And realize that your stepchildren might never love you as well as you might not love them at all. But at the same time you will have a happy blended family and everything will function smoothly.