All mature people understand, that arguments shouldn't be rendered by text messages, since they can ruin relationship. However, many of us at least once argued by texting and still many times are ahead. So how to argue by texting with your spouse without being afraid to cross the boundaries?
Do you know why texting argument is poisonous for your relations? There are many reasons for that, like you don't know how your texts upset your spouse. You can't express your intonation and your emotions to your second half. Messages are hard to read and you can see “do” instead of “to”, for instance.
Moreover, waiting till your spouse replies the message really drives you crazy. You want to express your emotions right now, make your second half know how you feel and start typing next messages, that soon become a novel. And after a while, when you finally get a reply, you don't calm down, because you're irritated! Now you can't understand each other and your relations give a crack. Well, everything could be much better, if you'd talk face to face, instead of sending messages.
If you're mature enough, you will make yourself calm down and wait till you can talk to your partner. Only mature people have arguments face to face and try to solve the problems this way. In case you can't wait and you need to express your attitude towards the issue to your spouse right now, then you will find the next rules of texting arguments very useful and safe for your marriage.
Don't send a message that says “We need to talk”. Doesn't matter how long you live together, this message is like a bomb, and reading it makes stomach drop. You definitely won't receive a positive reply, or any reply at all, because your spouse will try to postpone the hard conversation for as long as possible.
Don't send long messages. Don't make a novel out of your message, make it short and informational. Tuck your emotions back and just tell what upsets you. Be short, because it's a text message.
Don't use emoticons. Different emoticons can help you express your emotions, but they actually hide what you really want to say. Besides, using emoticons in arguments can seem to be rude or show your disrespect. If you want to let your spouse know how you feel, write it in words. Leave emoticons for love messages.
Watch your finger. Using four-letter words to express your feelings is also no good. Your spouse will read it and just imagine how they feel about it. You won't be able to delete the message, it will always be there.
Don't send “I'm sorry” message. Alright, you want to stop this e-war with your spouse and you finally think that telling “I'm sorry” is the best way to go. But the messages can't render your emotions, that's why your partner doesn't know how sincere you are. By the way, do you count your spouse as a third-class person, who doesn't deserve an in-person or on-the-phone apology? Saying “sorry” is a dialog, nothing else.
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