6 Don'ts of Polyamorous Relationship

Polyamorous relationship are any romantic relationship that involves more then two people. It's got nothing to do with swinging, a girlfriend on the side and even cheating. It's the relations, when every side knows about each other and agrees with it. Polyamorous relationship has certain rules and in order not to spoil it, remember these mutual don'ts!

#1 Don't try to coerce your relations into a certain shape. Let your relations be whatever they are. It's very important for the people who become a part of the established couple. It's natural that you want to understand your place in it and determine the shape and your role in these relations. But don't do it. Let it be the way it is.

#2 Don't take turns. Whether it's fair or not, but don't score how much nights your partner has spent with you and with the other partner. Or how many dinners you had together. It won't work in this case, because the polyamorous relations are not based on the fairness. Being more often with one partner then with the other may be required by certain problems, tough time or whatever.

#3 Don't bring the third person in order to mend your relationship. When your relations with a partner face certain problems, adding more people won't save them. The third person will exacerbate the existing problems, but don't solve them. By the way, it's also unfair for the third person, because you know that it's only temporary.

#4 Don't take side of any of the partner. Well, it's possible and it happens very often that two partners of the same sex disagree. You shouldn't take the side of any of the partner. Let your partners work out their disagreements on their own. However, it doesn't mean that you have to stay away from the argument. If you're asked for a fair opinion, then give it.

#5 Don't think that the problem is in polyamoury. Any non-traditional relations are harder to handle, but don't think that the problems you face are caused by polyamoury. Polyamorous problems are very often the same as the problems of monogamous relationships. One of the problems is resource allocation. If you spend all your time away from you partner, you will face jealousy and anger. So make sure that you have enough time for all people involved.

#6 Don't try to be poly if you're not. Polyamorous relations are not for everybody, admit it. You might want to try something new and see how it will turn out. But being in polyamorous relationships requires sharing. If you can't think of your partner being with the other person, then you will spend all your time alone curled up in and feeling angry, anxious and nauseous. Do you really need it?