You’re already 16, you’re an A and B student, and you won’t get off the track just because you’re dating one guy you’re crazy about. But your parents don’t think this way and what they believe, you’re too small to date anyone. May be, when you turn 33 they will allow you see somebody and even kiss, but before that no-no! It’s time to tell your parents you’ve got a boyfriend and do it the right way.
All families are different and while some parents are really open-minded and don’t see dating a big problem for their little girls, other parents are overprotective and see a monster in any boy who seems to like you. No matter what your parents are, and even if you think that you’d better hide your relationship for their sake, good communication is the key to all problems. It’s better to let your parents know where you are and with whom, rather than they find it out from your neighbors who have spotted you kissing.
Choose the right time and place. If you want to have an open conversation, then choose the right time and place for that. Don’t start any conversations in the evening after your parents come from work tired and exhausted. And if your house looks like a small kindergarten, then wait till your mom is relaxed and doesn’t have to watch your little brothers and sisters. The best time is the weekend. Also don’t start any conversations in public places, like the grocery or church. You won’t be able to tell everything you want to.
Choose the one whom to tell first. In case one of your parents is more lenient than the other, you can talk to them first and have them on your side. See what’s their reaction and then let the rest of your family know that you’re dating someone. Don’t leave any of your parents out of that stuff, because both of them have to know.
Think what you will tell. You will need to tell something about your boyfriend, right? Don’t tell anything that could make your parents mad, because what’s OK for you, may be not OK for them. So, if he’s got different religion, background or nationality and you think your parents won’t approve that, just don’t tell that for now. But you can tell them about his family or his work, if he works, what he does, whether he’s got good relations with his mom and dad (it’s a great extra brownie point for him). Also you can show them his picture. A portrait where he’s smiling is good, and avoid any pictures where you’re together.
Be ready to listen and. Don’t think that once you’ve told your parents that you’ve got a boyfriend, you’re done with it. There will be questions and comments. Listen to the comments, because now your parents may explain their worries and why they don’t want you to date him. Don’t argue and accept their point of view, get ready for any negotiation.
Be ready to negotiate. If your parents are really strict, then they may set up different rules restricting your life, like imposing a curfew, or you will be able to see your boyfriend on weekends only. Don’t accept everything blindly and be ready to negotiate the things that you can’t accept.
Of course you want your mom and dad like your boyfriend as well as you do, and personal meeting is the key to success. Family dinner is not the right occasion, but you can tell your parents, that your boyfriend will come to pick you up next Saturday. They will see him briefly and thus will worry less about you.
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