Holidays and summer vacations are traditionally pictured as happy time for the whole family. But for many of us this picture is not true, because we deal with fights, difficulties in mutual understanding and unmet expectations. Everyone is angry and family reunions as well as vacations together with your in-laws or family becomes the hell. It's time to find out, how you can survive family conflicts.
Family reunions are always difficult for many reasons. You see people, who drive you crazy with their behavior, or who seem to provoke you, and peek their noses to the stuff that is not of their concern. Spending a couple of days together seems to be a battle, that you can win. Just try to stay focused on these tips and remind yourself, that there's really a reason, why all of you don't live under one roof, and that you're not the only person who suffers.
#1 Don't be in charge of making everyone happy. In case you're visiting your in-laws or they come to your home, don't try to make everyone happy. First of all, it's impossible, because meeting someone's expectations may hurt feelings of other members of your family. Stay relaxed and try to avoid conflicts by escaping tough questions and being open to listen.
#2 Listen to everyone. Your child tells you to leave them alone, and your in-laws or parents don't want to attend your family festivities. Let's face the truth, it's only your fault, because you didn't listen enough. Listen some more, and still if you have problems, then listen some more and more and more. Let your relatives and children vent, because now you know, what they want and expect, and you can use this knowledge to bring back your relations to normal again.
#3 Take it easy. Don't sweat over the small stuff. Don't tell your children how they should raise their children. Don't criticize your in-law and don't give advice that is not required. Don't pressure and don't demand, if you don't get what you want. Don't try to control the world around you. There are so many don'ts, but remembering them will help you relax and just enjoy the time. Keep in mind one thought only: all people are different, and you need to create conditions, where everyone can easily communicate.
#4 Have realistic expectations. Be prepared to have problems during your family vacation. It doesn't say, that you should constantly think about the conflicts. You always knew, that your brother loves jokes that make you crazy, and that your spouse is totally different person around their parents. So don't expect people to change since your or their last visit, just keep in mind, that you will have problems, and thus see the next tip.
#5 Understand your stress and how you deal with it. Family conflicts arise from the stress you deal during the vacation. Stress piles up and finally you burst out, or the smallest thing said by your uncle or niece lets your inner monster out. Recognize the source of your stress and find the way to deal with it. If you need to spend some time alone, do it, and communicate more with your spouse, because they are the only person who understands you the best and tries to make you happy.
- 6 Hobbies for the Whole Family, 4 Rituals Every Happy Family Should Have, Top 7 Summer Activities for the Whole Family, How to Make a Family Time Capsule