Divorce is a simple, but painful process, and it brings many changes. The major change is that you become a part-time dad and don't spend time with your kids every day. Keeping emotional connection with your children is one of your priorities, if you want to be a good dad after divorce.
Your children are very important to you, but it's really hard to remain a good father, when you see them twice a week and they come to you every other weekend. You used to play with your kids every day, but now, when they constantly live with their mom, you feel like you do your job partly. And even if it is really so, remember these simple tips, that will help you keep deep emotional connection with your children after divorce.
Live in your own residence. It might sound cool to live with buddies after your divorce, but it's really not good for your children. If you want them to come to visit you and feel home at your place, you need to live either alone, or at least temporarily move to your parent's house. Living alone even in a small studio let's you have some space, where you can keep your children's clothes and toys (majority will be at their mom's) and you can provide a separate sleeping place for them.
Spend quality time. Some divorced fathers think, that giving money and buying expensive presents for their children will help keep relations alive. Let's face the truth, it's not this way. When your children come to your place, plan ahead what you're going to do: go to a museum or an amusement park, for a picnic or to the seaside, play board games, but don't lay on a couch or check e-mails from your work. Only quality time helps keep your bonds with children alive.
Allow your children to have a pet at your home. Find some interests that you will share with your children. For instance, allow your children to have a small pet at your home, that they don't have at mom's. They will come to you to take care of the pet, and you won't feel so alone.
Be consistent. Routine sounds terrible, but it's actually what children need to feel safe and secure. Create your own routine and adhere to it. Your children are going though hard times too, so they need to know, what to expect from you.
Be there, when you're needed. The first thing that your children expect from you is just be there when they need you. When you promise to come, do that. Don't be too lazy to make some efforts to come and help, when you're asked. Your children need to know that they can rely on you.
Never argue in front of your children. Never call names regarding your ex-wife in front of your children, even if you know that their mother does so. When children are involved in such conflicts between parents, they think that it's their fault that mommy and daddy divorced. Be respectful towards their mother in presence of children, because you don't want to scare or upset them.
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