Some children say that their mother is their best friend, while others talk to each other once a week. Can you tell, that you love your family and know that your mother will take your side if anything happens? If you're reading this, then the probable answer is “No”. You're going to change this situation by learning how to improve relationship with your mother.
Make the first move. Don't wait till your mother will try to improve your relations. She won't do it, because she might be afraid to lose what she's got or make you her enemy forever. That's why you are the one who has to do it. Think, what you can do to change your relationship with your mother.
Look at your mom as a person. You might think that your mom can only give advice or nag, be reluctant or try to do everything on her own. But did you ever think of your mother of a person? Talk to your mom and ask her personal questions, like what were her dreams or goals, when she was your age.
Change yourself. Think of your relationship with mother as a dance. If you change your steps, the partner will change their own steps too. So practice it in your relations. Don't try to change your mother, instead of it change your own respond to some things.
Don't lie. Telling lie isn't good at all. No matter why you do it, whether you don't want to upset or worry your mom, being dishonest won't help you build better relationship. If you don't know how to deal with this issue, then try rehearsing conversations before you really have them. You won't waste time obsessing about how your mother will react on your words.
Listen to your mother. We really mean it, don't assume that you already know what your mom will tell you. Listen and let her know that she's been heard. And listen to the feelings that underlay her message. Sometimes you can think that your mother tries to criticize you, but in fact it's her attempt to say that she protects you.
Learn to forgive. Reconciliation requires two sides, but it isn't always possible. However, you can forgive your mother. We're not talking about saying that what happened is OK. It's not pardoning or minimizing the contact. It's only about the forgiveness, that is the key to the well-being and your better health.
Never bring in third parties. Bringing someone else in a conflict is very common for mother-daughter relationship. For instance, daughter might involve her dad, because mother drives her crazy. And mother can involve other child and ask them to talk to her daughter. Actually there should be no third parties in your conflicts. Talk to each other directly and it's the only one way to repair the damage done to your relations as quickly as you can.
- How to Become Friends With Your Parents, How to Deal With Toxic Siblings