How to Toughen Up If You're a Sensitive Person

Being tougher isn't so easy as one may think. It requires your inner strength, that is mental toughness, to counter the problems that your life brings to you. So what is actually mental toughness? It's the ability to keep your focus and determination despite the surrounding difficulties. It's like having a thick skin, that is protecting you, but it's very hard to develop it. While many people are born with it and can let the problems roll, others take everything too seriously and roll with their problems.

Is it possible to toughen up at least a bit? Yes, but there's a big price you have to pay. You will spend a lot of time practicing and at some point you may lose some other traits of your character, like being sensitive to others. The toughness you cultivate in yourself is easily transmitted to others, and you become tougher with your family and friends too. Now let's see what you can do to toughen up.

#1 Learn to accept the criticism. Criticism is the first thing that makes you feel terrible. You can't accept it the way it is and think that others hate you, otherwise they wouldn't say such things about you and your work. You have to learn accepting criticism by understanding, that you can use the remarks to learn something new and become better. Well, nothing protects you from failing again, but at least it doesn't mean that everyone around has a personal grudge against you.

#2 Breathe deeply. Whenever any problem comes around, prepare for it. Take a deep breath to center on yourself. Before you're about to answer, have a second to decide what you should say or not. Answer only as you exhale. Be confident in who you are and what you stand for.

#3 Don't take everything too personally. You need to learn to look at bigger picture. For instance, if your project failed, it doesn't mean that it's only your fault. It's the fault of the entire team. So don't be so negative about yourself next time.

#4 Manage your expectations. You can't control everything around you and you never know what will go wrong. The less you expect from something, the less vulnerable you are for the unexpected surprises you run into. So don't try to control everything, instead of it control yourself and your reactions only.

#5 Control your emotions. Being emotional is a very good thing, but your emotions shouldn't cloud your judgment in the moment. Being emotionally resilient increases your ability to handle tough situations. One of the ways of building emotional resilience is admitting what's really happening to you instead of running away from it. Go away from your comfort zone, otherwise you won't get stronger at all.

#6 Motivate yourself. You won't be able to change yourself without inner motivation. Whenever you have a problem and you can't control yourself again, find motivation to get tougher. The motivation will come from inside of you, you just need to ask yourself several questions, like why do you need to solve the problems, why do you need to get stronger and why do you need to go through this?

It's impossible to toughen up in a week or a month only. There's a long way for you to go, but you will reach the destination and let the problems run down your skin, like the dirt at the end of a working day.