The end of marriage, no matter how terrible it was, is never an easy thing. Now you are alone and you have mixed emotions about your ex-spouse. Today you feel hatred and relief that this nightmare has finally ended and tomorrow you will miss the daily family routine. Your emotions constantly change and everyone, who goes through alike situations, feel the same. Here are several tips on how to cope with emotions after divorce.
Don't try to fight your emotions, whether they are good or bad. It's natural to feel so many things when your life is changing. But be ready for emotional ups and downs. Your emotions will be changing so fast that even you won't be able to follow them. Divorce brings changes in your life, and they won't always be easy. At some times you will be eager to bring everything back and miss your ex-spouse. But remember, that there was a reason for the divorce. And for now you have to cope with your emotions in order to build your happy new life.
Begin with making a list of reasons why you divorced. This will help you remember about the difficulties that you had in your marriage. Also make a list of good parts of your former relationship. If you concentrate only on bad features, you will hate your ex-spouse and it will become your burden for the whole life. All your new relations would become a wreck if you hate your ex.
It's so easy to blame your ex-spouse in everything that went wrong, but let's confess, that relations don't depend on one person only. You might have made some mistakes, that you didn't notice. So just don't blame nether your ex, nor yourself.
Many people try to go through divorce by themselves, but it's really a bad idea. Have someone near you who will help you and listen to you anytime you need to talk or cry. Best friends and relatives will always be here and you may rely on them. Sometimes family and friends don't give the support you need, that's why don't be ashamed to attend support groups. Here you will be given an adequate support by a professional therapist.
Keeping a journal of your emotions or feelings is very helpful, when you don't have somebody near you, who could understand you. Describing pain you have to cope with on the sheets of your journal is almost the same as if you talked about it to somebody. But there is a big difference, because you can write in a journal anything you want to, even the things you wouldn't let others know.
Tasty chocolate desserts have a soothing effect, so you can allow yourself a spoon or two of your favorite cake or ice-cream to cheer up. But don't forget to keep healthy routine! Stress after divorce lead to sleepless nights and hunger for soothing food, and in the shuffle of your emotions your may forget about healthy lifestyle. It will only make the situation even worse. Keeping a pre-divorce family routine is advisable as this can be a comfort to all.
Unhealthy food is not the only thing you have to avoid in coping with divorce emotions. Stay away from alcohol and drugs. They will relieve your feelings for a while, but in general will never help you. Wait till you calm down and then make better decisions.
Start taking care of yourself and spend time doing things you enjoy. Think of those routines you had to follow during the marriage that became needless now. You have lots of free time and you can spend it the way you want. Get plenty of rest to avoid stress and start doing things you enjoy. Meet your friends, read good books or take new courses. Concentrate on something, that is not related to divorce when you feel you're being overwhelmed with emotions.
Facing changes divorce brings isn't an easy thing, but believe, that you can cope with it and your emotions. Follow these tips and very soon you will feel alive again and free from grieve, sorrow and pain.
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