There are many articles and books about selfishness and narcissism, because these issues become very popular. The society (no matter how big it is, even if we look at it in the context of a family) needs generous and selfless people, who will contribute to it. But what to do, if one of the members of your small society is selfish? Let's see what you can do to deal with a selfish sibling.
There are many reasons why people become selfish, and while you look for the way to deal with them, you have to understand where selfishness comes from. For instance, younger siblings are always selfish and seem to be immature to the older brothers and sisters. When people get older, they also become more demanding and anxious for their life, and you can take it for being selfish. Sick people need more care, that's why they also expose their selfishness. So think, what is the reason, why your sibling is so selfish? Is it because they are immature? If yes, then there's the way to handle it.
Everyone grows out of immaturity, but it takes some time. While older siblings do it faster, younger ones prefer to stay children for a longer period of time. If you can't stand your sibling to be selfish any more, then remind them from time to time, that such behavior is inappropriate and it won't attract friends. Selfish behavior can't get them any further in life, because no one will cooperate with selfish people. Try to encourage your selfish sibling to learn sharing skills through playing team games or participating in projects.
In case you have an adult selfish sibling, who doesn't live with you any more, but still makes profit of you or other family members, you have to set the boundaries for the behavior that you can tolerate. If your sibling crosses the boundaries, then just refuse to do what they want you to. Stay concentrated on things that are your priority and don't let your selfish sibling change your plans. In case you need to disagree with your sibling, then keep your comments short and informational, rather than attacking and long ones.
Having a selfish sibling is very hard, but compromising isn't the way out of the situation. If you agree to do something that your sibling asks in exchange for some other favor, it won't work, because your sibling will find thousands of excuses not to do it. So compromising never helps. You have to treat your sibling the way you want them to be treated, nothing else.
Remind your sibling that they are an adult, and they are accountable for the things they do and that all your family needs to be treated nicely. If you don't do it, then how your sibling can learn that? Make sure that you give your feedback in a nice and positive manner, because scolding and nagging will probably make your sibling defend themselves, and they won't hear you at all.
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