During preparation for your wedding you have to think about the number of guests you invite. You send invitations and then RSVPs, however, some guests come to your wedding with someone extra. How can you deal with uninvited guests at wedding?
There are only two ways to deal with people who you didn't invite to your wedding party. You either allow them to stay or you have to ask them to leave. The latter may sound rude, but these uninvited guests have to understand, that they have no place to seat and no meal to eat.
However, you have to be polite and try to make all your guests comfortable. If you hired a coordinator then ask this person to deal with the guests. The coordinator will try to find extra chairs, plates and ask if there is some more food available for your extras. In most cases everything can be found. However, you may prepare yourself for such a situation and order about 5-10 extra seats and meals. Just in case if someone shows up.
In case you don't have a coordinator, then you have to deal with the guests on your own. Ask one of your bridesmaids to help you find some place and meals for the guests.
So you accept the extra guests, but you may not acknowledge them. It may sound rude to people who come, but your other guests won't think that they also could take someone with them to your wedding.
Sometimes extra guests show up because you forgot to invite someone. For instance, you invite your friend who is married or engaged, then you have to think about two places instead of one. But if you forget or just don't know about the situation, well, it's your fault, that's why asking the extras to leave will be rude for your friend.
The choice whether to ask some people to leave or to stay also depends on the style of your wedding. If it's a formal wedding, then you might want to ask uninvited guests to leave. And if it's a family style wedding, then everyone can be accepted.
Let's see how you can deal with someone added by your guest to RSVP. In this case you already know that you have someone extra, and you choose whether you order additional meal and seat, or say “No” to your friend. You want to be polite, but several uninvited guests mean that your expenses go higher. Here's the way how to handle this situation.
Call your friend and open your conversation with positive sentences (you're glad that your friend can come to your wedding). Then tell that you're sorry for misunderstanding (it doesn't mean whose it was, because it won't be productive) and that the invitation was only for your friend, not someone else extra. Finish your monologue with positive sentence and tell that you hope your friend still can come to your wedding.
No need to ask questions if it's OK with your friend, who has to come alone, without someone extra. This might start a debate over the issue, and that's what you have to avoid. Be friendly and firm in your conversation.
Even if you have some uninvited guests at your wedding, don't let it spoil your mood. You may be upset right now, because you want everything to be perfect. However, on the day of your wedding such things won't be very important to you.
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