Sarcastic people can seem quite cynical, but in most cases sarcasm is just a defense mechanism they use because they are afraid of being hurt. Some people just can't help being sarcastic, it becomes a habit and comes naturally. Can sarcasm be a turn-off when it comes to dating?
Sharing a similar sense of humor is an important part of compatibility in a romantic relationship. So sarcasm will definitely be a turn-off for people who don't get dry wit and ambiguous jokes. However, even when you meet a person who appreciates your deadpan humor and sarcastic remarks, you shouldn’t take it too far.
When you've just met someone, don't direct your sarcasm towards them, it will make you come across as mean. You also shouldn't turn your sarcasm into self-deprecation, it will demonstrate your low self-esteem, and low self-esteem can be the biggest turn-off. Try to avoid making sarcastic remarks on sensitive topics, such as family, religion, politics, etc.
If you've met a person who shares your love of sarcasm, don't turn your budding relationship into a competition, trying to outsmart each other. Every relationship needs sincerity, and sarcasm is the opposite of sincerity. It's great that you have similar sense of humor, it really is, but a relationship cannot be built on sarcasm alone, you need to have actual conversations.
Keep sarcasm out of bed. Most people are extremely vulnerable during sex, and dry jokes that are OK in other situations can hurt when you are being intimate with a person. This doesn't mean you have to be dead serious during sex; in fact, jokes can help you lighten the mood and relax. But hardcore sarcasm should be left outside your bedroom door.
It is also very important to let people know when you are being serious. The problem with sarcasm is that sometimes it is very hard to tell whether someone is being sarcastic or not. When people are used to you being sarcastic all the time, they might mistake your seriousness for sarcasm. That is why it is very important to make it clear when you are not being sarcastic.
Sarcasm can be funny, but it can also be hurtful. Too much sarcasm is definitely a turn-off, therefore it is very important to know when to stop. Being witty is OK; being mean to a person you want to date (or to anyone, actually) is inexcusable. We all remember that master of sarcasm Dr. Gregory House didn't manage to save his relationship with Dr. Lisa Cuddy. You are welcome to learn from his mistakes.