When your relationship reaches a certain level of stability, it may become boring. You notice that you have sex less often than you used to. It becomes another chore, and sometimes you even try to find excuses not to have sex. This stage in a relationship is called a sex rut. Almost every couple goes through it at some point. How to get out of a sex rut and reignite the spark?
Admit that you have a problem. Admitting that you have a problem is the first step to solving it. Ignoring the problem won't make it go away, eventually you will have to discuss it with your partner. Open and honest communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Don't accuse your partner of anything, just have a calm and mature conversation.
Be adventurous outside your bedroom. Sex rut may be one of the first signs that your relationship is becoming stale. When is the last time you went on a date or did something fun together? Participating in thrilling activities will bring you closer together and will help you break out of a sex rut because sex is so much better when you're both high on adrenaline!
Exchange sex bucket lists. You probably have a list of things you want to try in bed. Write them down and ask your partner to do the same. When you're both done, exchange the lists and see how many items on your lists coincide. These are the things you should try as soon as possible.
Do your research. If you don't have many things on your sex bucket lists, you should do a research on sex tricks and kinks. Browse the web, watch porn, read some erotica — whatever inspires you. Just do it together.
Try new things. If you've found something both of you want to try, go for it. There are a lot of kinks that aren't too extreme, so you will have something to choose from even if you're not too kinky. Role play, light bondage, shower sex, new positions... there are a lot of ways to spice up your sex life without turning it into a screen version of “50 Shades of Grey”.
Shake up your routine. Don't be shy to surprise your partner. Initiate sex when they are least expecting it, send them dirty texts, have sex on a couch in the living room... The possibilities are endless, use your imagination. And please, don't schedule sex, let yourself be spontaneous.
Don't hurry. Intimacy doesn't always have to lead to sex. Commit to only making out for a few days and tease each other mercilessly. Extend the foreplay so that it lasts for hours. The main dish will be so much more delicious if you have to wait for it!